Hi Assalamualaikum.

Good day everyone.

I just nak berleter about my selera makan omg :(

Guess what, I'm really into nasi. For no reasons at all. I just love rice and I might berkahwin dengan beras jika dia boleh berubah bentuk menjadi manusia hahaha. It scares me. For now, I eat nasi daily 3/4 times setiap hari kot IN A BIG PORTION (usually in utm, kalau makan nasi kat luar selalunya makan tak habis pun lalala). I don't know why, dalam banyak-banyak makanan I will surely cari nasi. Then I felt really unhealthy, badan rasa berat and so on. I tried untuk amik nasi dalam portion yang kecik since banyak kali makan nasi, but I always ended up menjumpai diriku di kabinet dapur seang membuka periuk nasi untuk tambah nasi. Heyyyy what is thissssss.

Macam now, the moment I write this entry is about 3.03 pm. The last time I ate nasi is around 12 noon. I am so hungry right now huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. 2 3 kali ulang alik ke dapur sebab terpedaya dengan tipu daya nasi. Plus I am eating beras biasa yang berkanji tu, so I couldn't imagine how much sugar I consume everyday. Tak campur air manis, air milo, sweets and all. So for now, I am eating sour ribbons and cottage fries (lol). So tomorrow I might going out to Tesco to buy fruits. Need to find healthier snacks, seriously and being strict with nasi consumed.

Tomorrow mission; fruitiful fruit, dont forget isi minyak, mihun yang ibu suruh beli tadi, why-not-cheat-day takoyaki and coolblog.

Haih diri sendiri, sesungguhnya kamu sangat degil. Kbye

Hi hi
Assalamualaikum
Anneyong

Saya masih menganggur tapi saya tidaklah terbongkang di tengah rumah. Tapi tapi, saya memang melebih-lebih tidurnya. Tak apalah, bukan selalu. Eh?

Life is doing good alhamdulillah. Takdelah good mana actually tapi alhamdulillah sangat sangat sangat, family is doing really well. So I'm a happy girl!

Other than that, i wannaaaaaaaa say syukur sangat that i was given the opportunity to meet this one wonderful soul; hi Alex Iskandar. I was fortunate enough to meet you in the middle of EVERYTHING. The EVERYTHING macam paused kejap when he came. Slow but heavy enough, the flow lah i mean hahahaha. None of us ever expected this, apatah lagi orang lain. When come to think about it, kelakar pun ada. How we tried to not talk about this. How we running away from all the people. How we ended up to be here, what we are now.

I'd still remember first time keluar berdua dengan alex i think few weeks kot before fesko, i was in the middle of hectic serabut teramat buat kerja and need a short getaway. Dahlah tak kenal sangat pun time tu, i was like "ah bantai jelah, dia okay je kot". Dahlah dia amik kat blok, supposedly pergi asing2 lah kan hahaha. Masa turun tangga nak ke kereta "betul ke keputusan aku ni", "ke dia penculik", "gila what dia ajak kau pi teman dia makan", "kau ingat kau sape", "dalam kereta nak cakap apa".

On the way nk turun tu dah cukup stress dah. Nampak dia cool gila, no i mean acah cool wearing short jeans and yelah merokok sebab tu acah cool hahaha. Sembang biasa2 tak pernah, whatsapp adalah sekali sekala tiba- tiba lepak berdua. Woha! Taubat betul fikir time tu, why suka buat benda tak fikir panjang. Hahahaha.

Alex is amazing, wonderful! I couldn't ask for more. I am the happiest girl alive.

Love yourself first
Love yourself first
Love yourself first,
At very first place.

it just me forcing myself to always remember that i really need to love myself before anyone else because no one will. No one is willing to stay. They departed.

Leaving me broken
Completely broken
Inside and outside

Its not easy, I'm telling you. I had to learn how to love myself, how to love my riddles when I speak, how to love my short legs, how to deal with my own silly-self, how to control my nervous, how to love my tired eyes. I had to do everything on my own, with my own tears in one shot. All for one. Because its going to be once. Once in a lifetime; for someone who isn't worth the fight. For someone who don't know his place, for someone who don't realize how hard I tried, for someone for can't see the magic that I brought, for someone who easily walk away.

I won't forgive you. For all the hurting words and acts. Live like that. Die in vain.

My mother accused me for easily fallen for guys, for opening my door to many people, for hanging out with many guys. They judge my social life.

Wow.

They just didn't know. They don't know the struggles, sitting alone in a lonely, pretty but sad room. My 4-am thoughts, so many papers have been wasted writing all the things I want to do, I want to say; but I don't.

I won't tell them. Because they don't deserve to know.

..................................................................................................

Sincerity is something I've been looking for in a crowded room full of bones and soul. I started to tell lie once I got scolded for an honesty that I poured. Don't blame me for you to hate the truth.

....................................................................................................

-You will not heal by going back to what broke you.