Many years has passed. I've grown up.

Basically I'm 27.

A lot of things has changed. I'm four years married. That should justify a lot of things. 

How are you? Do you keep up with life?

I'm no longer the Mega-Ultron Mira that used to be. I'm a perfect definition of maturity in deep-depression-but-can't-say-so, messed up and confused adult. I guess adulting isn't really my things. But, life is real tho so those problems need to wait till the day I died.

I remembered asking myself why I alive (live) at 9 years old. I know life will be sucks, can I stop and not to live? Can I shift souls? I kinda knew at 27 years old, I will be the same sucks person living a fake life. I'm only me when I'm alone. I'm only raw when I'm with myself, I'm unhappy. If I'm unhappy means I am me. I'm unhappy but honestly I'm good. There is nothing sad or bad at being unhappy. I wish people would normalize being unhappy and still being fine. 

I wish one day I could tell people my story. 

This is my life. My depressing life that have to look good to others. My depressing life that I can't appear weak in front of others. I have a fake life because I need to survive. 

How I wish I die.